On a day not long ago, I had a lot of work to do and I was feeling really stressed about getting it all done in the short time that I had.

I had gotten my toddler down for a nap and I felt relieved that I could finally sit down at my laptop and dive into the projects I needed to complete.

Then I heard "Maaamaaaaa" from Tayo's bedroom. I went to check on him. He wanted to know if Daddy would snuggle with him later for "big night-nights." Yes, Daddy will be home later and will snuggle with you at bedtime.

Back to my laptop.

"Maaaamaaaaaa." Back to Tayo's room I went. He wanted to let me know his scrape on his knee was healing and didn't hurt at all anymore. That's awesome, buddy, I'm so glad. Now get to sleep.

Back to my laptop.

"Maaaaamaaaaaaa." Back to Tayo's room (frustration growing).... He was scared. I reassured him that he was safe and I gave him a "safety bubble."

Back to my laptop.



By now, my frustration was HIGH and I was so conflicted. I wanted to help my little buddy out. I wanted to be there for him. I wanted to be a calm and patient mama who spoke only in a gentle and soothing voice.

At the same time, I was stressed and needing to get my work done and needing him to NAP, goddamit!!!

I had to turn inward and figure out how to work with this moment of conflict and frustration. I realized that I was miserable because of my own resistance to this experience of Tayo needing me while I needed to work.

Then I remembered my mantra: "I accept."

I repeated it to myself several times and felt my body relax. I felt my energy surrender. I felt myself get more in the flow of what was happening in that moment.

From there I could respond from a place of being more present, more grounded and better aligned with the flow.

Here are FIVE solid tools I use to stop fighting the current and get back into the flow of life:

#1) I use the mantra "I accept."

I use this mantra religiously. Just like it helped me when Tayo kept calling out from his bedroom when I needed to get work done, the mantra "I accept" helps me surrender into countless other situations.

When I call to make a quick appointment for my car and it takes twenty minutes instead of the 3 minutes I allotted for the call, I feel the tension building in my body and I call up my mantra..... "I accept."

When I watch a loved one making decisions I don't agree with and handling something all wrong and I feel the angst building within me, but I realize it's not my place to try to change it, I call on my mantra "I accept."

When it is late afternoon and I feel cranky and aggravated, I notice my automatic response to want to change my discomfort... with food.... caffeine..... getting lost on my phone.... I become aware of the feelings and the urges, and choose instead to accept that I'm cranky and irritable and let it be. "I accept."

When I say "I accept," I soften into the moment and it is perfect just as it is.

Whenever we are unhappy, there is something about the moment or the situation that we are resisting. As soon as we shift to accepting, we are in the flow.

#2) I release tension in my body.

I often use yoga to release tension in my body. Even a few stretches and postures can open my body and release some of the stress I am holding. When I hold stress in my body, I am resisting the flow of life.

When I release that stress, I align with the flow of life.

I also use walking, swimming and aerobic exercise to release tension and shift the flow of my energy.

When you release tension in your body, you also release mental and emotional tension, and you automatically move more into a state of flow.

#3) I change my breath.

When I realize I am resisting life and the moment before me, I often check on my breath. Usually, I am breathing in a very shallow rhythm or not at all.

When you deepen your breath and slow its rhythm, you shift your nervous system out of a stress response and into rest and restore mode. This helps you, again, to align with the flow.

#4) I go outside.

When we are "stuck," we are often doing the same things, sitting at a desk or spinning in circles inside the house or office. If I get outside, my energy shifts. I breathe fresh air. I move my body. I have a new scene, which creates new thoughts, which leads to different feelings.

I am closer to nature, even if it's just sitting in my back yard while my kids play. Nature reminds us to flow, and shows us how to do it.

#5)  I do something creative.

I pick up my guitar, sit at my piano, or grab a drum and play for a few minutes. I draw in my journal or do another creative project.... When we do something creative for a little while, our brain waves shift from beta brain waves (focused, outward state of mind) to alpha brain waves (creative, present, more meditative). Anytime we're in alpha, we are more in the flow.

What I do know is this --- Life will always flow and the tides will always rise and fall. Our suffering comes from resisting and not accepting. Whatever we can do to align with the flow will set us free and allow us to live the most beautiful, abundant, fulfilling lives imaginable.

Tell me what YOU do to get more into the flow!

Please share below and together we grow!

With love always,


I decided a long time ago that I was done with New Year’s resolutions.


Because they never worked.

I used to set all the big ones - to exercise more, to eat healthier, to attract healthy love, to spend more time outside......

Every time, New Year’s Day would come and go, with all of it’s excitement and promises of new beginnings, and I’d slip right back into being my old, comfortable self.

It turns out I’m not alone.

42% of people make at least one new year’s resolution, and only 8% of them keep it.

If you’ve ever wondered WHY this happens and how we can flip this paradigm on its head, then keep reading!

Why it's so hard to change

Experts in the field of neuroscience say that by the time you are 35, you essentially have a subconscious computer program that runs you.

It's made up of your most deeply ingrained thoughts, emotions, beliefs, reactions and behaviors.

You are largely functioning on auto-pilot.

In Yoga, this is called your Ahankara. Ahankara is your sense of self. You build it by gathering information from the world around you, from what people tell you about yourself, and from your successes and failures in life.

It becomes so rock solid by the time you’re an adult that trying to change it is like moving mountains.

Your automated computer program dictates the decisions you make, the behaviors you engage in, and how you feel about yourself and the world around you.

Neuroscientiest Joe Dispensa says that this automated computer program, or your Ahankara, makes up 95% of who you are.

So take a moment and do the math. If 95% of who you are is locked down, that leaves FIVE percent of who you are that is still malleable.

When the new year rolls around, you may have the VERY BEST INTENTIONS in your heart when you take stock and think about this time of renewal and how you want to seize the opportunity to grow, to make a change, to better yourself.

Setting that intention, feeling the possibility and believing in yourself, is so beautiful and powerful.

But that poor little 5% goes up against the super fortified 95% that is so locked down and so practiced at what it does, it is almost always a losing battle!

Here is the hope

There is extremely good news in all of this -- It's actually really easy to completely re-program your automated computer system.

By easy, I don’t mean it doesn’t take work. It requires commitment and effort. By easy, I mean it's extremely accessible to absolutely everyone.

How it works

I want to share an awesome research project with you to show you how this works.

A harvard scientist brought in a group of volunteers and had them practice an exercise on the piano for two hours every day.

After one week of practice, the area of the brain devoted to their piano exercise had grown significantly. New neural connections had formed. They had altered the structure of their brain through the repetition of their practice - after just one week.

The researcher brought in a second group. They didn’t touch the piano. They didn’t even move their fingers.

They simply imagined how their hands would move if they were actually practicing the piano exercise.

Amazingly, the second group had the same growth in their brains as the first group -- meaning the mental training alone physically changed the structure of the brain!!!

What this means for you

You can easily re-program your subconscious computer system. All it takes is consistency and commitment.

If you want to be more healthy and active, meditate every day by visualizing yourself already being that healthy and active person.

What does she look like? What behaviors does she engage in? How did she act? How does she think? What does she wear? What does she eat? How does she feel?

To make it most effective, don’t get up from your meditation until you feel like that person.

Repetition is the key!

If you do this once in a while, it won’t have the effect you need to make a lasting change. But if you do it every day, you will re-wire your brain to be the person you want to be.

If you remain committed, your body and your life will catch up.

So, please please please if you’ve made new year’s resolutions, add this piece to the actions you’re taking to make them a reality.

Now, leave a comment below to share your resolutions and how you plan to make them stick!

I believe in you!