September16
5 Ways to Flow with the Ocean of Life
On a day not long ago, I had a lot of work to do and I was feeling really stressed about getting it all done in the short time that I had.
I had gotten my toddler down for a nap and I felt relieved that I could finally sit down at my laptop and dive into the projects I needed to complete.
Then I heard "Maaamaaaaa" from Tayo's bedroom. I went to check on him. He wanted to know if Daddy would snuggle with him later for "big night-nights." Yes, Daddy will be home later and will snuggle with you at bedtime.
Back to my laptop.
"Maaaamaaaaaa." Back to Tayo's room I went. He wanted to let me know his scrape on his knee was healing and didn't hurt at all anymore. That's awesome, buddy, I'm so glad. Now get to sleep.
Back to my laptop.
"Maaaaamaaaaaaa." Back to Tayo's room (frustration growing).... He was scared. I reassured him that he was safe and I gave him a "safety bubble."
Back to my laptop.
"Maaaamaaaaaaa."
By now, my frustration was HIGH and I was so conflicted. I wanted to help my little buddy out. I wanted to be there for him. I wanted to be a calm and patient mama who spoke only in a gentle and soothing voice.
At the same time, I was stressed and needing to get my work done and needing him to NAP, goddamit!!!
I had to turn inward and figure out how to work with this moment of conflict and frustration. I realized that I was miserable because of my own resistance to this experience of Tayo needing me while I needed to work.
Then I remembered my mantra: "I accept."
I repeated it to myself several times and felt my body relax. I felt my energy surrender. I felt myself get more in the flow of what was happening in that moment.
From there I could respond from a place of being more present, more grounded and better aligned with the flow.
#1) I use the mantra "I accept."
I use this mantra religiously. Just like it helped me when Tayo kept calling out from his bedroom when I needed to get work done, the mantra "I accept" helps me surrender into countless other situations.
When I call to make a quick appointment for my car and it takes twenty minutes instead of the 3 minutes I allotted for the call, I feel the tension building in my body and I call up my mantra..... "I accept."
When I watch a loved one making decisions I don't agree with and handling something all wrong and I feel the angst building within me, but I realize it's not my place to try to change it, I call on my mantra "I accept."
When it is late afternoon and I feel cranky and aggravated, I notice my automatic response to want to change my discomfort... with food.... caffeine..... getting lost on my phone.... I become aware of the feelings and the urges, and choose instead to accept that I'm cranky and irritable and let it be. "I accept."
When I say "I accept," I soften into the moment and it is perfect just as it is.
Whenever we are unhappy, there is something about the moment or the situation that we are resisting. As soon as we shift to accepting, we are in the flow.
#2) I release tension in my body.
I often use yoga to release tension in my body. Even a few stretches and postures can open my body and release some of the stress I am holding. When I hold stress in my body, I am resisting the flow of life.
When I release that stress, I align with the flow of life.
I also use walking, swimming and aerobic exercise to release tension and shift the flow of my energy.
When you release tension in your body, you also release mental and emotional tension, and you automatically move more into a state of flow.
#3) I change my breath.
When I realize I am resisting life and the moment before me, I often check on my breath. Usually, I am breathing in a very shallow rhythm or not at all.
When you deepen your breath and slow its rhythm, you shift your nervous system out of a stress response and into rest and restore mode. This helps you, again, to align with the flow.
#4) I go outside.
When we are "stuck," we are often doing the same things, sitting at a desk or spinning in circles inside the house or office. If I get outside, my energy shifts. I breathe fresh air. I move my body. I have a new scene, which creates new thoughts, which leads to different feelings.
I am closer to nature, even if it's just sitting in my back yard while my kids play. Nature reminds us to flow, and shows us how to do it.
#5) I do something creative.
I pick up my guitar, sit at my piano, or grab a drum and play for a few minutes. I draw in my journal or do another creative project.... When we do something creative for a little while, our brain waves shift from beta brain waves (focused, outward state of mind) to alpha brain waves (creative, present, more meditative). Anytime we're in alpha, we are more in the flow.
What I do know is this --- Life will always flow and the tides will always rise and fall. Our suffering comes from resisting and not accepting. Whatever we can do to align with the flow will set us free and allow us to live the most beautiful, abundant, fulfilling lives imaginable.
Tell me what YOU do to get more into the flow!
Please share below and together we grow!
With love always,
I had gotten my toddler down for a nap and I felt relieved that I could finally sit down at my laptop and dive into the projects I needed to complete.
Then I heard "Maaamaaaaa" from Tayo's bedroom. I went to check on him. He wanted to know if Daddy would snuggle with him later for "big night-nights." Yes, Daddy will be home later and will snuggle with you at bedtime.
Back to my laptop.
"Maaaamaaaaaa." Back to Tayo's room I went. He wanted to let me know his scrape on his knee was healing and didn't hurt at all anymore. That's awesome, buddy, I'm so glad. Now get to sleep.
Back to my laptop.
"Maaaaamaaaaaaa." Back to Tayo's room (frustration growing).... He was scared. I reassured him that he was safe and I gave him a "safety bubble."
Back to my laptop.
"Maaaamaaaaaaa."
HE HAD TO PEE!
By now, my frustration was HIGH and I was so conflicted. I wanted to help my little buddy out. I wanted to be there for him. I wanted to be a calm and patient mama who spoke only in a gentle and soothing voice.
At the same time, I was stressed and needing to get my work done and needing him to NAP, goddamit!!!
I had to turn inward and figure out how to work with this moment of conflict and frustration. I realized that I was miserable because of my own resistance to this experience of Tayo needing me while I needed to work.
Then I remembered my mantra: "I accept."
I repeated it to myself several times and felt my body relax. I felt my energy surrender. I felt myself get more in the flow of what was happening in that moment.
From there I could respond from a place of being more present, more grounded and better aligned with the flow.
Here are FIVE solid tools I use to stop fighting the current and get back into the flow of life:
#1) I use the mantra "I accept."
I use this mantra religiously. Just like it helped me when Tayo kept calling out from his bedroom when I needed to get work done, the mantra "I accept" helps me surrender into countless other situations.
When I call to make a quick appointment for my car and it takes twenty minutes instead of the 3 minutes I allotted for the call, I feel the tension building in my body and I call up my mantra..... "I accept."
When I watch a loved one making decisions I don't agree with and handling something all wrong and I feel the angst building within me, but I realize it's not my place to try to change it, I call on my mantra "I accept."
When it is late afternoon and I feel cranky and aggravated, I notice my automatic response to want to change my discomfort... with food.... caffeine..... getting lost on my phone.... I become aware of the feelings and the urges, and choose instead to accept that I'm cranky and irritable and let it be. "I accept."
When I say "I accept," I soften into the moment and it is perfect just as it is.
Whenever we are unhappy, there is something about the moment or the situation that we are resisting. As soon as we shift to accepting, we are in the flow.
#2) I release tension in my body.
I often use yoga to release tension in my body. Even a few stretches and postures can open my body and release some of the stress I am holding. When I hold stress in my body, I am resisting the flow of life.
When I release that stress, I align with the flow of life.
I also use walking, swimming and aerobic exercise to release tension and shift the flow of my energy.
When you release tension in your body, you also release mental and emotional tension, and you automatically move more into a state of flow.
#3) I change my breath.
When I realize I am resisting life and the moment before me, I often check on my breath. Usually, I am breathing in a very shallow rhythm or not at all.
When you deepen your breath and slow its rhythm, you shift your nervous system out of a stress response and into rest and restore mode. This helps you, again, to align with the flow.
#4) I go outside.
When we are "stuck," we are often doing the same things, sitting at a desk or spinning in circles inside the house or office. If I get outside, my energy shifts. I breathe fresh air. I move my body. I have a new scene, which creates new thoughts, which leads to different feelings.
I am closer to nature, even if it's just sitting in my back yard while my kids play. Nature reminds us to flow, and shows us how to do it.
#5) I do something creative.
I pick up my guitar, sit at my piano, or grab a drum and play for a few minutes. I draw in my journal or do another creative project.... When we do something creative for a little while, our brain waves shift from beta brain waves (focused, outward state of mind) to alpha brain waves (creative, present, more meditative). Anytime we're in alpha, we are more in the flow.
What I do know is this --- Life will always flow and the tides will always rise and fall. Our suffering comes from resisting and not accepting. Whatever we can do to align with the flow will set us free and allow us to live the most beautiful, abundant, fulfilling lives imaginable.
Tell me what YOU do to get more into the flow!
Please share below and together we grow!
With love always,
Comments (60)
Allison, you are so wise! I truly wonder how God blessed me sooo much to have you for my BFF!!? Thank you for the post, it was truly excellent and I will certainly be putting all those ideas into practice immediately. It’s fantastic because every time I say “I accept”, I will also think of you. I love you and thank God for you and the example you are to me as a mom, a friend and a woman. You’re the best! Keep writing BC!
❤️?, Janene
I so feel you!! I totally relate to juggling all the roles, and we sometimes have no notice for when we need to change gears and focus on a new priority. That moment of breath and pause that you’ve described, so we can respond instead of react, is so crucial so at the end of the day WE feel good about how we show up to it all. Thank you for being here! <3
I feel the struggle on a daily basis. Multiple careers, volunteering, motherhood, wife, daughter, sister, friend, etc. All of these “jobs” require an unbelievable amount of acceptance and going with the flow. You’ve reminded me that I need to check my breath and in doing so, that will give me the moment I need to not automatically react. It makes you grounded and less likely to say something you really don’t want to say! Great words, you are a wise woman!!
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